Bold

WHY DOES THIS THEME - BOLD - KEEP TURNING UP EVERYWHERE  I GO?????

WHEN IT STARTED:

A few months ago our church had their annual winter conference. This year it was entitled Bold. If you don't believe me here is a picture of the bulletin from that conference:

I didn't think anything of it. About that same time the Lord was working out all the details of my birthday trip to California for a Christian writer's conference (for those of you who have been following my posts I'm leaving for the conference in three days and I'm beyond excited. See Dreams post from earlier about the exciting ways God worked to make a dead dream resurrect. See future posts on how Jesus will take a resurrected dream and breathe life into it like only He can). When I went to register for the conference I saw this picture:

That's right, people, I'm about to embark on another encounter with the same theme. I'm sure those of you who still believe in coincidences would not bat an eye at this, so I will keep going.

WHEN I STARTED TO PICK UP ON IT:

I can be distrusting and skeptical, as I'm sure all of us can, so I dismissed the Bold recurrence up to this point. Until...

One day, I walked into work, which doubles as a school and a church, and realized when I walked in the door that someone had hung two giant canvases on either side of the water fountain. Here's what those canvases looked like:

True story morning glory. I can't make this stuff up. All these pics were later taken with my phone as I began to piece together two and two. I had no idea the church was going to take this Bold thing to the next level. Wow!

Fast forward to President's Day weekend. We are in Portland, Oregon for our oldest son's basketball tournament. It is the opening night of the movie Samson. Our youngest had been waiting for months to finally see it. We were all sitting in the theater, watching the previews, and munching on popcorn. All of the sudden I receive a notification in Messenger. Apparently I'm one of those obnoxiously rude people who don't turn their phone down once they enter the theater. I'm pretty sure everyone was fully aware I had received a message. So embarrassing!

After I cut the volume I decided to check the message in the boredom of never ending previews. It was from a young woman who used to be in our youth group. She is now attending a Youth with a Mission (YWAM) School of Biblical Studies in Sunshine Coast Australia. I am always anxious to see and hear what she has to say. This time she didn't say anything. She just sent me this image and told me that it reminded her of me and she felt led to message it to me:

I could NOT believe it! Buzzers and lights and sirens all started going off in my spirit and I knew God was definitely trying to get this message across to me loud and clear. 

What Do I Do With It?

God can do whatever He wants, and it always amazes me when I realize He really does want to speak to me and commune with me. I began to ask Him what this all meant, what He wanted me to get out of this, and why in the world did this word, Bold, keep turning up everywhere I went? 

I speculated that more would be revealed as time went on, and especially at this upcoming writer's conference. That sounded good to me, so I put it on the shelf  until He showed me what was next.

I really didn't think of boldness as something I needed or even wanted. Until yesterday...

We went to a gathering last night with several groups of friends, some are believers and others are not. As the night went on there were a couple conversation in which I engaged where I felt led to say something about my relationship with Jesus but didn't.

The first was a mom who confided in me that her son struggles with anxiety at bedtime. I too struggled with this all through my childhood, so I was very much empathizing with her, the son, and the situation. She was telling me all the methods they have attempted to get him to calm down. I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to ask her if she'd ever tried praying with him, but do you know what I said instead? I said, "Maybe you could try giving him a couple melatonin before bed." Really, Amy? Melatonin? Yup. That's what came out. Why? Because she has made it clear that she doesn't want to know Jesus, and I was scared to look like or sound like a fool, honestly.

The next incident was when one of my husband's friends came up to me and began talking to me about how much money he used to make. I told him I couldn't begin to even comprehend what that amount of money would look like monthly. He informed me, "Don't worry, it doesn't make ya any more happy. If anything it just makes things more complicated." Again, I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to tell him that Jesus is the only thing I have ever found that can bring true joy to a soul. But here is what I actually said, "Ya.  We have never been poorer, yet we have never been more happy." Yup. That's what came out. Why? Because I know he is not a believer and I was scared to sound like a fool. That's the truth.

This morning in the shower the Holy Spirit spoke to me again and gently offered up the suggestion that maybe boldness would be a valuable asset in my life. I agreed.

Where do I go from here? Forward. Don't we all? As believers we just have to keep moving forward. We make mistakes. Remember when Paul said in 1 Timothy 1:15 “...Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—and I am the worst of them."? I see my shortcomings as a believer, and I am thanking Jesus today for His abundant grace that covers over me. I see the need and have the desire for boldness like never before after this morning's shower reminder from Holy Spirit. And I believe this is all part of the process that He is taking me through in preparation for what He has for me at the writer's conference and beyond.

This begs some questions that I'd like to ask you. How much do we model with our lives to nonbelievers versus how much do we say? It seems like if you say anything at all these days you are pegged for being "preachy." Do we simply model with our lives and hope we "let our good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father." Matthew 5:16? Or do we speak the truth in love?