Equal Joy

Equal Joy

This is our eldest son, Isaiah. His name means "YAHWEH is salvation". It's been his name since before we were married. It's just him. Our hope is it completely fulfills who he is as he continues his journey identifying with whose he is. He, and his brother, our truly our pride and joy as I'm sure any parent can relate.

Basketball and golf are two words that can get Isaiah's attention at any given moment. He's mostly likely found either at the gym or on the course working hard to perfect his games. Yesterday was a big day for him. He golfed a 40 for the first time on the back nine. He was so excited. That was only the beginning. One of those shots was a chip in for birdie from 30 yards. My heart burst with excitement for him as I was able to see his hard work paying off right before my eyes. But it gets better! After carefully being measured by the clubhouse staff, he discovered someone had donated a set of irons to him that fit perfectly -- FREE!!

Hours later, he was still so jazzed about his amazing golf day that he rounded out his collection of new clubs by ordering everything necessary to complete a full set -- adding a few accessories too. By the end of the night all the correct clubs were on their way, a new bag was ordered, and he even purchased some head covers.

Needless to say, Isaiah was a happy boy.

What was going on in my heart as he profusely thanked us, told us how excited he was, and kept checking his phone to scope out the new additions to his life for the hundredth time??

I was blessed! So blessed...

Watching his excitement escalate with such a grateful heart blessed my heart in a way I didn't know I was capable of feeling. It was better than getting the new items myself. To see my son so elated that he was cloud walking was a gift that sent my heart soaring with joy.

Even though he was the one experiencing the gifts it was as if I got an equal gift of the joy.

Would God allow such a thing? Is He consistent in giving equal gifts to the giver in other aspects of life too?

Chapter 30 of the Old Testament book of 1 Samuel focuses on recovering all that was lost as David chases after the "bad guys" who raided his village. At first, he isn't sure if he should attack them, but after seeking the Lord's approval he goes after those dirty, rotten, no-good Amalekite raiders with a rather large army of men; so many, in fact, 200 quit the vigilante pursuit from pure exhaustion only to turn back and do the only thing they could muster up the energy to do...watch over the baggage of the more energetic soldiers.

Spoiler alert...the goods and family members were recovered and brought back safely, but not without some interpersonal drama.

The soldiers who trudged on to reclaim the plunder didn't quite think it fair they share those same goods with the quitters who turned around to stand watch over the baggage. They complained to David *insert whiney voice*, "They didn't go with us, so they can't have any of the plunder we recovered. Give them their wives and children, and tell them to be gone." 1 Samuel 30: 22.

Sound familiar to justice-seeking siblings in your home? Or your flesh when something doesn't go your way? Ya, me too!

David wasn't havin' it though. He quickly rebuked them with, "Don't be selfish with what the Lord has given us. He has kept us safe and helped us defeat the band of raiders that attacked us... We share and share alike -- those who go to battle and those who guard the equipment." 1 Samuel 30:23-24.

Long story short, David did make sure the 200 exhausted baggage workers who turned around received equal blessing to those who were on the front lines. 

But he didn't stop there. 

He also split the rest of the spoils with the elders of Judah. 

But wait...there's more!  

He also sent gifts from the recovered items to many other people in many other towns and countries he had visited. People who seemingly had no idea about the events of the raid but knew David in some capacity or another.

Hmm...it would seem God is consistent. It seems, even waaaaay back in the Old Testament people were receiving what I received with my son and his golf clubs -- equal gifts!

...Sometimes you're the needle...

...Sometimes you're the brush...

Rewind to a month ago...

I was feeling pretty low. My niece, Dallas, left to spend two months of her summer in Uganda to explore her dreams of becoming a missionary after high school graduation. That's not exactly why I was feeling low though.

She and I were destined for Africa five summers ago with a team from our church. Five days later we were still bench surfing in airports but hadn't even left the country. Meanwhile, the rest of our team had already arrived safely on Kenyan soil. Heartbroken, I made the decision to turn around and go home as we still weren't projected to arrive in Africa for a few more days - by then the trip would have almost been complete.

I was supposed to be with Dallas. She and I were supposed to be the ones to conquer Africa together. It was "our" special thing, right?

Not exactly.

God had other plans.

Before she left I was beading necklaces for each of our sponsor children. She was taking them with her to give to the children. Entrenched in my darkness, the violin played tunes of pity as each necklace made its way into the heart-shaped boxes I had hand-painted. In the midst of that sorrowful moment the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart in a flittering thought that bounced until its final absorption into my grey matter. "Sometimes you're the needle....sometimes you're the brush."

What?

No way would those necklaces make to to Africa for their intended use without the help of that needle. In fact, without the needle their assembly wouldn't have been possible. The needle had to stay, and the necklace got to go.

I had to stay, and Dallas got to go. She gets to have this amazing experience. She gets to meet our sponsor children. She gets to stand where the Nile meets Lake Victoria. She gets to watch street kids play their first organized game of soccer in their brand new jerseys.

Again, He spoke, "Sometimes you're the needle, and sometimes you're the brush."

That little brush worked its heart out to paint seven jewelry boxes for the girls we sponsor. Without its strokes and work those boxes would have looked pitiful and ugly. Instead, because it did its job, those bright red heart-shaped boxes blessed those little children. The boxes got to go, but the brush had to stay. 

Again...Dallas got to go, and I had to stay. She got to work alongside amazing people, meet playful and precocious children, observe tribal dancing, worship with such a fun and different church from our own.

Everything has its part to play.

If I would have known you, Lord, I could have given my life to you in this way....I could have...wait....but then I wouldn't have....and I wouldn't be...

Everything has its part to play.

...Sometimes you're the hands...

...Sometimes you're the feet...

Somewhere in the depths of experiencing my son's elation and my sorrow of not being in Africa, I found myself listening to a podcast on 1 Samuel, chapter 30. Jon Courson was speaking to this very idea. He wasn't even speaking on this topic that evening; he more or less referenced it parenthetically. 

Did Jon talk about how God restores what we lose back to us? 

No!

Did he fill the sermon with the details of hard to pronounce cities, countries, and people when he told this particular story of David?

No!

He simply referenced as an aside that just like in 1 Samuel, Chapter 30, God will bless the baggage attendants with ALL the blessings he gave to the frontline soldiers. He had his audience captive, or at least me, while he spoke of the surprises awaiting us in Heaven as God the Father gives us equality with those we perceive are "doing the real work of Jesus."

God doesn't see it like that. 

Have you given financially toward the work God is doing either overseas or in your local church?

Then he will bestow the same blessings to as He does the soldiers who fought on the front lines.

Have you been woken in the night with the sudden urge to pray for someone?

You will receive equal protection and blessing as those whom you pray for.

Have you felt like you aren't making a difference for the Kingdom because you are "just a mom" or "just a wife" or "just a student" or "just an average person saved by grace"?

The only answer I can give is: Sometimes you're the needle, and sometimes you're the brush. 

All the ways you're investing in the name of Jesus gives you equal joy and blessing to those who are in the spotlight for the going, doing, preaching, and teaching.

____________________________

When my son's clubs and accessories come I don't know who will be more overcome with joy, him or me.

And when my niece touches back down on American soil I don't know who will be more blessed by her trip when we enter eternity.

With as many hours as I spend talking  to Jesus and learning about Him, you would think I would know Him better than I do. Just when I think I know Him, I realize how little I comprehend about who He is. 

Sometimes a quick podcast snippet wrecks me. I'm left standing in awe at my utter lack of knowledge and His goodness.

Does God give equal gifts to the giver? 

The answer is He does, and He will. 

I don't know what is in store for me having not experienced all that Dallas is experiencing in Africa, but I know I'm invested -- in her and the people she loves there. I also know, thanks to God's Word, that He gives us the desires of our hearts not to tease us, but to fulfill them. We are just along for the ride waiting to see if the fulfilling will happen while we walk our short time on this earth or if we will get to fulfill the God-given desires of our hearts for all time and eternity. Either way, we win!

We are to love Him with all we are. The only other commandment is to love others as much as we love ourselves. As we attempt to do these two things, He takes care of the rest. He prepares the jewels in our crowns. He alone knows the blessings and gifts our eternity holds as we faithfully walk with Him. He is the only one with the strength and power and authority to give us equal gifts of joy on this side of Heaven and the other.

Thank you, Jesus!